5 signs you are stuck with an Oxygen Thief

Oxygen Thief (def): An individual who uses up the air supply in a meeting at a disproportionate rate compared to their contribution.

The top five signs you're in a meeting with an oxygen thief are these:

1. They always speak more quickly than anyone else. They speak so quickly because they know the supply of oxygen in a room is limited, so they have to use more words per concept spoken in order to ensure they get more of the air than everyone else.
2. They never listen to anyone else, except in order to determine when it is next their turn to speak. This is a very critical thing for an Oxygen Thief, because their main interest is getting more of the air supply for themselves. The content from whomever is presently speaking is just air they're forced to give up.
3. The cup of tea you are drinking starts to boil spontaneously. What has occurred is that the oxygen deficit has resulted in a lower pressure zone in the room, reducing the boiling point of water.
4. If water droplets start forming on your devices or dripping onto your papers, it is for the same reason. You have a low pressure zone in the room, and precipitation is about to occur. Don't worry though, this is a local weather condition that will go away as soon as you open the door.
5. The top sign you have an oxygen thief in the room, however, is that as soon as all the oxygen is gone from the room, they will find a reason to leave early. As everyone else is gasping for breath, or else wobbling shakily because of the neuron-death, they will determine their work is done and escape to greener pastures.

Comments

[Account Deleted]

Hilarious. The next post should be about some counter-measures that can protect us from Oxygen thieves.

[Sam]

Oh I could have some fun with this :)

[James Gardner]

I think I will write such a post in a few weeks. I will have to find that whimsical mood again that made me write this one :-)

[James Gardner]

Well do, please. I know that everyone is waiting! :-)